


The Kingdom of the Blind

by trepkos



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-28
Updated: 2010-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trepkos/pseuds/trepkos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur reacts badly to an injury.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kingdom of the Blind

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Ideserveyou for beta.

The Picts took a terrible toll this time. When Kai saw what they’d done, he went berserk, and slaughtered every last one, and it was well he did, else not one Celt would have come home from that fight.

The sound of Arthur’s agony still echoes in Kai’s ears. And that he had to inflict it …

But Llud was wounded, and Kai would trust no one else to do what must be done.

It took days for the wound to scab; much longer to scar, and all that time, Arthur lay with his face to the wall, sometimes moaning in pain, more often in dead silence.

A hush descends upon the whole village.

When Llud’s up and about, he takes over the day-to-day running of things, and Kai stays at Arthur’s bedside, but he gets no thanks for it.

Arthur won’t even let him tend the injury; just snatches any wash cloths or salves or ointments from his hand, then turns away without a word.

Once, Kai puts a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.

Only once.

That time, Arthur leaps to his feet, and lays Kai out, then throws himself down upon his bed, with his back turned against the world.

The day comes when Lenni needs the bed for someone with a fever. With one hand covering the side of his face, Arthur hastens through the village to the longhouse. He demands that a small table be set apart for him, and when they eat, he sits alone, with his right side to the wall.

On the first night, Kai goes to Arthur’s bed. Arthur pushes down on his shoulders; Kai knows what he wants, and gives it willingly. But Arthur takes no joy – only relief – and in return he gives Kai neither relief nor joy. When he has finished, he just turns away.

Feeling no resentment, only love, Kai leans over, and strokes Arthur’s face – the undamaged side.

Arthur gives a bitter laugh, and swats his hand away.

“I had to do it Arthur. The eye could not be saved. It would have festered –” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Arthur lies down on his side again. “I’m not a child. Leave me alone.”

Kai blinks back tears, but says nothing.

After that, Arthur won’t have Kai in his bed again, though sometimes he makes use of him elsewhere, taking him, face down in the stables, or making Kai kneel to him in the hideout by the river. While Arthur fucks him, he never lets Kai see his face, but when it’s over, each time, he looks at Kai, tense, as if he’s waiting; expecting something of him.

Kai does not know what.

When even this brief, brutal contact ceases, it hurts Kai more than being used.

Perhaps Arthur is punishing him for doing what he did; what he had to do, to save Arthur’s life. Perhaps Arthur wishes he had not been saved. 

But if this is his punishment, Kai will take it, for he will not live without Arthur; and he _will_ save him, whether he likes it or not.

One day, he looks across to where Arthur is sitting alone, at breakfast. “When are you going to start training again?”

Arthur looks at him as if he were the village idiot. “Do you _want_ me to get myself killed?”

“No. That’s why –”

“How can I go into battle? I can no longer judge distance. I’d be dead in a day.”

“You can no longer duel with an expert swordsman, but you can still ride into battle, with a sword or spear,” Kai persists. “You know I will always be there to guard your right flank.”

“Will you,” Arthur says flatly.

It is not a question; Kai cannot understand why Arthur said it.

It seems there’s nothing he can say, that Arthur wants to hear.

~~

In the weeks that follow, Arthur lets his hair grow long, and holds his head so that it falls across his face, mostly covering the wound. But still, he shuns company, and the longhouse is more quiet than Kai can ever remember.

But Arthur cannot hide forever. A messenger brings news that Bavick has asked for talks, and Arthur will not let Llud face him alone. 

The negotiating party arrives; Bavick has brought his daughter with him.

Kai wonders bitterly whether Eithna is to form part of whatever deal is to be struck.

He brings Arthur a patch to wear over his eye; Arthur throws it in the fire. 

At the formal reception, Eithna rushes to meet Arthur, but when she tries to embrace him, he takes her by the shoulders, and flicks the hair back from his face.

She gasps, and backs away. “Arthur – what happened?”

“I was too slow,” Arthur says coldly. “Try setting your sights on Kai – he’s always been faster than me.”

Kai flinches. He wants to leave the room, but – with Bavick here – it would not be politic. He bites his lip and looks at the floor, the walls – anywhere but at Arthur or at Eithna.

When the first meeting has broken up, and the guests have been found beds, Eithna seeks Kai out, down by the river, where they once talked before. She has combed out her hair, and is wearing a green dress, and she approaches Kai with open arms, as if they were old friends.

“Leave me alone.”

“You wanted me once.” Eithna looks peeved. “Why have you changed your mind?”

He stares at her, his teeth grinding together. “Why have you changed yours? You wanted Arthur. You even tried to take him from me.” 

Her eyes widen. “You wanted _him?_ ”

Kai says nothing.

“You still do …” she says wonderingly. “Even –”

“I do not change like the seasons.”

Eithna smirks. “But it seems Arthur does – or why would he offer you to me?”

Kai turns and walks away, before he can put his fist through the minx’s face.

~~

Kai supposes he should feel relieved. It seems he needs no longer fear that every pretty face or strong arm in the land might try to take his Arthur from him. 

Instead, he boils with anger and resentment. Can they see no further than the wound on Arthur’s face? If he, and no one else, wants Arthur now, this truly is the kingdom of the blind.

~~

Llud is building up the fire. He looks across at Arthur, lying on his bed, facing the wall, as usual. “So – are you planning to stop feeling sorry for yourself, any time soon?” 

He hears a sharp intake of breath.

“You’ve been lucky up until this recent injury.” Llud rubs his shoulder; it’s aching worse than usual today. “Nearly every man in this village has taken some grievous wound or other.”

“Most of them heal, or can be covered up. And your metal hand is no disadvantage, but a fearsome weapon.”

“It still hurts. Most of us just learn humility when we suffer a wound like this. Such things teach us that we are not immortal – and that knowledge makes us take more care, and helps keep us alive. You’ve changed alright, but not for the better.”

“What is your advice then, Llud?” Arthur’s voice is flat.

“Don’t let it make you bitter. And don’t make the ones who love you, suffer for your injury.”

“You are free to leave, if you don’t like the way I behave.”

“Leave? Huh!” Llud shakes his head. “You know very well that it is Kai of whom I speak. Don’t you think he’s suffered enough? Having to do this to you?”

“Kai, too, is free to leave. He can do what he likes – I won’t stop him.”

“You can tell yourself that, if you want. You know it isn’t true. Kai will never desert you, especially now.”

Arthur’s face closes off. “Perhaps I won’t give him that choice.”

~~

At last the negotiations are over, and Bavick’s party leaves. Kai finds Arthur alone, seated at his place by the wall, looking over the treaty they have signed.

Kai leans over the table, planting his hands either side of the document. He looks Arthur square in the face. “Arthur – we can’t go on like this.”

“No. We can’t.” Arthur knocks one of Kai’s hands away, and then the other. “I’m glad you’ve realised that. It’s time you moved on.”

“No, I did not mean …”

“But I did.” Arthur looks him in the eye.

Kai feels his mouth fall open. For a while, he cannot speak. His heart hurts. “Where am I to go?”

“What’s it to me? Chase after Eithna if you wish. Just don’t bring her to live here.”

“That conniving witch? Why would I –”

“You were seen with her, down by the river.”

“She came to me – I sent her away.” Kai shrugs; his arms hang limply at his sides.

Arthur shakes his head wearily. “Go where you like, Kai. Just get out of this longhouse.”

Kai stares at him. “Please … Arthur … no … You’re sending me away?”

Arthur’s voice is a bare whisper, as he answers, “Yes …”

“What?” Kai can’t breathe. “What has happened to you, Arthur?”

Arthur flicks the hair from his face, as he did with Eithna. “This. Happened to me.”

Kai shakes his head. “So?”

Arthur gets to his feet, his face blazing, his scar, red and angry. “You think I want your charity? Your guilt, your pitying looks? You think I want to wait around until you finally get sick of the sight of _**THIS**_ , and decide to leave me? No. Get out. Get out, now.” 

Everything is clear to Kai, at last. He sits down on his bed, takes out his dagger, and turns it over and over in his hands. “You think I will abandon you?” 

Arthur breathes in and out through his nose, saying nothing.

“You think I stay with you because I feel sorry for you,” Kai says, as if giving the matter due consideration. “You think, when someone else comes along – someone I haven’t spent all my life wanting, someone who hasn’t fought beside me and saved my life a hundred times, and I theirs – that I will leave you for them, because their face bears no scars?”

Still Arthur says nothing. Kai glances up at him: Arthur’s fists clench and unclench by his sides. A muscle twitches in his jaw. 

Kai takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to think of this, but he must … for Arthur. “So, if those charcoal burners who captured me had done what they intended – if they had unmanned me, and sent me back to you, a eunuch, and yet I had lived – you would have turned me away?”

“Of course not,” Arthur says, in a low voice.

Kai frowns. “No. Of course you would not.” He stares at the hilt of his dagger. “You would have been more generous than that. Given me some small hut on the outskirts of the village, where none would have to see me. I could have lived out my life –”

“What? Treat you as an outcast? No!”

Kai grunts. He hears Arthur take a step towards him. “But you would have refused to look on me, yourself. Shunned my company.”

“No!”

Kai feels a hand on his shoulder – the first time Arthur has touched him in days. It makes him weak with longing. He risks another glance, and sees Arthur looking down at him, concern upon his face, for someone other than himself, at last.

“You would have lived here, with me, as before. Why do you say such things?”

“As before. Of course.” Kai sniffs. “That is a kindness. All I could hope for. I would have made no complaint, when you had to deny me what little comfort or pleasure my ruined body might still take from you. The sight would have been –” 

“No! Kai, I would have loved you – made love to you more tenderly than before, in any way I could. Surely you must know that?”

Kai blinks back furious tears. “Then why … do you deny me now? Why do you demand that I keep less faith with you, than you would with me?” He kneels at Arthur’s feet, looking up at his face; the face he loves, even though it is horribly scarred. “Did we not swear to each other? Do we not have a pact that lasts even beyond death?”

“We did …” Arthur says, with a look of devastating sadness.

“Then why …?”

“I have seen my reflection in the lake, Kai, and in the faces of people who I meet. In Eithna’s face. I cannot bear for you to look at me, and feel pity instead of love. And … I will not be beholden to you for staying with me.”

“Oh, Arthur, Arthur, how could you?” Kai stands and takes both of Arthur’s hands in his own. “Have you been blinded in both eyes?”

Arthur closes his one good eye; a tear squeezes from the corner.

Kai brushes it away with his thumb. Then he moves Arthur’s hair aside, so he can see the terrible scar. He traces it with his fingertips. 

~~

Arthur lets out a gasp. He feels naked. Kai is looking at his wound; caressing it, as though it were precious to him.

“You are beautiful,” Kai says, never ceasing the gentle movements of his fingers over the ruined flesh.

Arthur shakes his head.

“Yes. You are. This scar is a mark of your devotion to our people – the love you bear all of us, even your Saxon brother. What could be more beautiful than that? And you are beholden to no one. I would be proud to remain at your side, if you permit me – or at your feet.”

“Would you?” Arthur’s knees give way; he sits down on the bed, daring at last to let Kai melt the ice around his heart.

Kai kneels on the bed beside him; Kai’s hands tenderly cup his face, and tangle in his hair, and Kai is kissing him.

He surrenders – lets his head tip back, and Kai’s lips trail kisses along the scar where the blade sliced his forehead, his cheek, and all the way down to his jaw. 

Arthur breathes, “No … don’t …” but he doesn’t mean it, and Kai knows he doesn’t, because now he is kissing the empty eye socket, and the mangled, burned flesh that surrounds it. Arthur can do nothing but grip the edge of the bed, and clench to stop himself from coming.

Kai presses Arthur to lie down on the bed, and looks at him with those dark eyes and begins unbuckling his belt. When he is naked, and Arthur too, he smoothes Arthur’s hair back from his face again. 

“Now. No more hiding,” Kai says.

“Not from you.”

~~


End file.
